Mindset Exercise. The Key to Be Wiser and Happier.

Happiness is a byproduct of the way how we think, not a goal.

I was born and raised in a family where principal, mindset, philosophical stuff, and the way how to see things is almost non-existent. It doesn’t mean that my parents not teaching me about what is good and what is bad, but I just have no clue in the early phase of my life on that subjects. Not even in school nor college. And, to a certain degree, I don’t even really care about it, because no one really put an emphasis on how important for me to have that.

Things start to change when I was around 15–16 years old and I began my journey of soul searching when out of nowhere, I started to ask myself “why do I live in this world? what’s the purpose of my life? should I exist in the first place?”. It was a rough journey and a long road to walk upon, from suicidal thoughts to desperate moments, I’ve through quite a lot, so to speak.

During that journey, up until today, I realize that one of the biggest key learning that I have in order to survive and get better in managing my life is, mindset exercise. What is mindset exercise? for me, it’s basically a routine to evaluate how I think. To think about how I think.

More often than not, prior to my soul searching period, especially when I was still studying in high school — junior and senior — I went to autopilot mode, I rarely question myself why I do what I do, and just let a moment pass by because it should be passed anyway. I used to think, that’s how life supposed to be. Turns out, it’s not.

Because of that way of living, I barely receive a sense of accomplishment or enjoyment of living my own life. When I received good grades, I just thought, “oh, this is the norm, right? because if I get bad grades, I will get punished by the teachers and being mock around by my peers,”.

The moment when I won a competition that rewarding me with some sort of free pass to directly accepted by the school that hosting the competition, what I can think about was, “phew, at least I can save myself from the struggle to get accepted into the next level of education,”, I don’t even think what I studied to won the competition really matters. Everything was shallow and feels so mediocre.

This mindset was a downward spiral, The mindset of “I’m not important, if I’m long gone it doesn’t really matter at all, I am not special at all” grows stronger over time. I barely survive at that moment and have very little energy to even care about finding a reason to live, yet somehow I am able to cover that up and not even my parents realize it. I even plan out my suicide when I was around 15 years old, yet I aborted. Since what I want was just gone and not living anymore through a painless process. I am quite sure suicide at the very least still gives me pain, regardless of how small the pain sensation is, it still painful. And then, the thought continues, “Wait! Why do I think this way? what’s the cause of this?”

If I take a step back and reflect, that’s the point where I started my mindset exercise. It somewhat halts the downhill movement of my mental health. I started to read a bunch of books, articles, and subtly asking anonymously to certain people, to figure out why am I like this.

My parents? my closest friends? they don’t know this side of my life story at all. I never discussed or even open up about this to them. Many around me don’t even know about this and even though they know, I am pretty sure most of them don’t even care, yet helping. I am in a constant battle with my own mind that sometimes convinces me to kill myself and some other times beg me to survive and live my life better.

Seeking professional help? I did. Yet, since it’s relatively quiet expensive where I live, I cannot afford it on a regular basis. Thus, mindset exercise is one of my tools to somehow win and survive up until today, without active professional help. Mindset exercises not only helping to survive but also improving me as a human being. I practice it every day. It’s just like a daily routine of physical exercise, but it’s inside my head.

Whenever I think, I will put some time to think about how I think it. Sounds complicated? I know. Take it easy? I wish I could slow down my brain for being that active, unfortunately, I couldn’t. Practice mindfulness? meditate? I tried, but it’s not working for me, since the peaceful state of mind only exists during the meditation period, afterwards, my brain starts to operate as it is.

That’s why mindset exercise is the most effective way for me to tackle my brain restlessness. Throughout the journey of my life in using mindset exercise to stay on track, I derailed from the right path here and there. Sometimes I am too lazy to think, to evaluate how I think until it’s kind of late and I got the consequences.

Like an operating system, mindset exercise should be updated and upgraded. It should be empowered with external resources. The way how I do it is by reading a lot of self-help books, psychology books, and open up about my condition to the right person. Lately, I found some persons that I can trust with the details of my life story. By opening up, also release the burden to think about it alone, to carry the weight by myself is surely painful.

By doing this, over time, I am getting wiser. I begin to become really aware of action-reaction, cause-consequence, and what goes around, comes around. This particular principle alone also coming from mindset exercise. Because when we step back a bit and really think about how we think, the result is significantly better, rather than not. After practicing consistently, the mindset exercise process becomes quicker and easier to do. Just like when we do any physical exercise, as time goes by, it’s getting easier and easier.

The result of all of this is, ultimately I am getting happier. I am not getting happier overnight. It takes years for me to really certain that I am actually ‘happy’. Previously, I am trying so hard to feel happy, now, I am aware that happiness is not a goal, but a byproduct of how I live, specifically how I think.

As a closing note, I hope this article somehow can help you to learn something new on how to live a life. How to continue your own journey, through struggle, pain, and suffering that differ from one person to another. Remember that you are not alone in the battle with your own mind. If you think mindset exercise worth trying, go ahead, give it a try. Live your life to the fullest, be wiser, be happier. Good luck with your life journey!